The Day I Nearly Bottled It (And What It Taught Me About Fear)
Picture this: Me, sat on a train to London, having a full-blown panic spiral about a speaking gig that would pay what usually took four weeks to earn.
I was a newly single mum with a toddler, it was all on me and in addition to the solo parenting responsibility all squarely on my shoulders I felt the added pressure of showning this tiny human that life wasn't to be scared of, you should laugh at yourself, take chances and not let fear stand in your way - plus I had bloody Lightning McQueen cars to buy by the truckload.
I couldn’t say no to this opportunity, but bloody hell, I wanted to.
When Life Gives You a Shove
Sometimes life doesn’t wait for you to feel ready. Sometimes it just chucks you in the deep end and says “swim, love.”
That day on the train, I imagined every horror:
- Tripping over on stage
- My mind going completely blank
- My clothes falling off (seriously, where does our brain even go?)
- Actual lions chasing me (okay, not really, but my nervous system thought so)
But here’s what actually happened when I stepped onto that stage…
The Plot Twist Nobody Tells You
I opened my mouth, and words came out. The crowd laughed. The event flowed. And I didn’t die.
Was it my best gig? Absolutely not. Looking back, it was probably pretty average - crap in parts, to be honest. But that wasn’t the point.
I bloody did it! ... And that changed everything.
The Fear Isn’t Going Anywhere (And That’s Okay)
Here’s what I really want you to know: The fear doesn’t completely disappear. Even now, after hundreds of events, I still occasionally get butterflies. But I’ve learned something crucial:
Fear isn’t the enemy. Staying stuck is.
That day taught me that confidence isn’t about feeling ready. It’s about showing up scared but doing it anyway. Every single time you do the scary thing, you’re building proof that you can handle it and you get better - like any skill you practise.
Your “If You Don’t Go, You’ll Never Know” Moment
So here’s my challenge for you: What’s that thing you keep saying no to instinctively?
That opportunity that makes a little part of you curious but the bigger part terrified?
Next time, before you automatically decline, pause and ask yourself: What would 80-year-old me say?
I can picture older me, she’s a rascal with no time for regrets. She’d say: “Bloody well go for it, Nik. No one’s as bothered about what you’re up to as you think. They’re too busy worrying about themselves.”
So, if you're ready to stop letting fear call the shots take that first step and do something that makes you a little scared and show yourself you absolutely bloody can do this!
My book “The Secret” gives you the complete roadmap from terrified to terrific. Get your copy [here] and start saying yes to yourself.
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